Thinking in circles

I don't understand myself. Life is OK, I'm taking schoolwork slowly but it's all under control. I still meet my friends on regular basis. I called home, sometimes. I get enough sleep everyday. Despite all these, I have this constant nagging voice in my head that tells me It's not OK.

I think I need purpose in life. It's not OK to live just to do what you have to do. I forget when was the last time I wanted something so badly that I would lose sleep just to work towards the goal. Life is so mundane now that I'm just too lazy and confused to think about what I want to do after I graduate next year. I don't have a plan. I don't feel the impulse to plan even when everyone around me has started to do so. I hate mediocre life, I'm living in one now and I am doing nothing to change it.

Maybe I just need to fall in love, some people say that would solve it all. Really? As if it's easier to fall in love than to get a job that you like.

I think a cold shower will do for now.