Learning a language

... is a lifetime decision, an act of violence one inflicts upon one's self without logical explanation.

在中文课的时候， 老师问我，你为什么要学华语。我回答， 因为我要去中国做事。本来，我没想过要去中国，本来，我也不知道为什么我要学中文。

学一个新的语言不容易。有很多时候，我不知道要真么说才好，才能把我想说的事说出口。虽然学华语不容易，我还是要学它。因为几年前，我告诉我自己我一定要学好华语。

Jetzt studiere ich Deutsch an der NUS. Ich habe gestern Abend ein Deutschtest. Ich finde der Test sehr schwer. Warum ist mein Deutsch schlecht? :(


Really, it's back to the basics. Suddenly your language ability is reduced to "Insufficient". Not being able to convey what you are thinking, not able to understand fully what others are saying to you, reading a book is out of question.

And there is this constant inadequate understanding of the language. Like why in Chinese, "last week" is "上个星期" (literally, above week) and "next week" is "下个星期" (literally,below week); why in Deutsch, "fahren" means both "to travel" and "to drive".

Learning a language demands a lot from you. Memorizing words or phrases and understanding grammar are never enough. You have to carry the culture and the history of the language on your back. You have to let yourself into the murky pool of subtleties, uncertainties, and deviations. By learning a language, you beg to assimilate into a private circle of natives; something that perhaps even a lifetime could not accomplish.

To learn a language, you need to learn to be a child again; one with a mind like sponge, unconstrained, and willing to learn something wholly new, and sometimes illogical.

Language is identity; the very, if not the main, essence of root. We all long to be understood. There was an Indo song that goes like:
Biarpun saya pergi jauh
Tidak kan hilang dari kalbu
It is a song about Motherland (in Bahasa: tanah air, which literally translates to waterland). How do you identify your Motherland? Not the place (because developments change the face of a country, especially city at the speed of cash flow), not the people (in this global era, people once again become rather nomadic and as always, people change). The only constant determinant of Motherland is language.

Ah, the beauty and complexity of language. I am glad the Tower of Babel fell.