i hate noises of chatter around me when i am on my own. i was on the lift on my way down after work today and the lift was unusually noisy. there was a couple speaking in some African language while the other chatter in Chinese, the newscaster on TV was reading some stock market predictions rapidly, the robotic voice announced each time the lift door opened. it was so disconcerting. the volume grew louder, the flurry of sentences assaulted my ears and i could feel the pounding in my head. i closed my eyes, trying to concentrate on other things. it didn't work.
i rushed out of the lift the moment the door opened on the first floor.
my colleague told me before that my ipod's volume's too loud. now i realize that's a form of adaptation, a survival skill. urban noises drive me nuts: rumble of the train, blazing horns, strangers, building constructions. birds don't sing the morning glory here, roosters don't crow (well... there's no rooster to start with). urban noise is the anthem of the morning, the humdrum that sucks the soul out, leaving an empty shell behind; a humpty dumpty parked in front of a smart machine, biding its time.
music is my remedy. i honestly don't think i can survive my days without it.
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
07.07.09
Gone Too Soon - performed by Usher in MJ's Memorial
Like A Comet
Blazing 'Cross The Evening Sky
Gone Too Soon
Like A Rainbow
Fading In The Twinkling Of An Eye
Gone Too Soon
Shiny And Sparkly
And Splendidly Bright
Here One Day
Gone One Night
Like The Loss Of Sunlight
On A Cloudy Afternoon
Gone Too Soon
Like A Castle
Built Upon A Sandy Beach
Gone Too Soon
Like A Perfect Flower
That Is Just Beyond Your Reach
Gone Too Soon
Born To Amuse, To Inspire, To Delight
Here One Day
Gone One Night
Like A Sunset
Dying With The Rising Of The Moon
Gone Too Soon
Gone Too Soon
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
at times i feel really ashamed at myself; at how short my temper is, at how shallow i could be at times, at how stupid i am to let myself into the whirlpool of self-pity and negativity.
i need to learn.
2 weeks ago i met a childhood best friend whom i've not seen in 13 years. it feels a little weird. she said i haven't changed. i wasn't so sure, so i asked if that's a good or a bad thing. she said it's a good thing. really? i was unconvinced but i let it lie.
i was glad that i could recognize her instantly. that's the only vivid memory i have of her. i couldn't remember how she sounded like. we went for dinner and a walk around the town. we exchanged some updates... it's not easy to sufficiently summarize 13 years in a span of few hours. it's a brief, succinct pointers of the landmarks in life, devoid of the details that only friends share. we talked about some old acquaintances, recounted some old memories. not long after she had to leave and catch her plane.
i didn't miss her but i'm happy to see her again. it's like finding a forgotten keepsake, something that you could well live without and unsure of how it's going to fit your present life.
friends, i learn, needs commitment to keep. if there's a long hiatus in the friendship, chances are you could not pick up where you left it, you have to start over. my guess is that the cutoff time is 5 years.
i'm reading 3 books at the moment and they all keep me hooked:
New Moon - Stephenie Meyer
After Dark - Haruki Murakami
Don't Stop Believing: How Karaoke Conquered the World and Changed My Life - Brian Raftery
one of the perks of singapore blue i/c is the lifetime membership to the national library. i read books that i wouldn't read otherwise. i take a long time to choose the book i'm going to buy. i amazon-ed it,
i took it from the shelf, put it back, went home, came back to the same store, and repeated these few times
before finally i decided to buy it.
but thanks to the library, i chanced on random books that i grew to like.
for the next few months, i'm going to spend a whole lot of my time commuting to work.
books and music are my only and most loyal companions. it's the little moments i could escape from this stagnant life; a moving space where i could switch from a vampire-in-love to Tokyo in the witching hours to a karaoke evangelist, all while listening to my own personal jukebox.
i need to learn.
2 weeks ago i met a childhood best friend whom i've not seen in 13 years. it feels a little weird. she said i haven't changed. i wasn't so sure, so i asked if that's a good or a bad thing. she said it's a good thing. really? i was unconvinced but i let it lie.
i was glad that i could recognize her instantly. that's the only vivid memory i have of her. i couldn't remember how she sounded like. we went for dinner and a walk around the town. we exchanged some updates... it's not easy to sufficiently summarize 13 years in a span of few hours. it's a brief, succinct pointers of the landmarks in life, devoid of the details that only friends share. we talked about some old acquaintances, recounted some old memories. not long after she had to leave and catch her plane.
i didn't miss her but i'm happy to see her again. it's like finding a forgotten keepsake, something that you could well live without and unsure of how it's going to fit your present life.
friends, i learn, needs commitment to keep. if there's a long hiatus in the friendship, chances are you could not pick up where you left it, you have to start over. my guess is that the cutoff time is 5 years.
i'm reading 3 books at the moment and they all keep me hooked:
New Moon - Stephenie Meyer
After Dark - Haruki Murakami
Don't Stop Believing: How Karaoke Conquered the World and Changed My Life - Brian Raftery
one of the perks of singapore blue i/c is the lifetime membership to the national library. i read books that i wouldn't read otherwise. i take a long time to choose the book i'm going to buy. i amazon-ed it,
i took it from the shelf, put it back, went home, came back to the same store, and repeated these few times
before finally i decided to buy it.
but thanks to the library, i chanced on random books that i grew to like.
for the next few months, i'm going to spend a whole lot of my time commuting to work.
books and music are my only and most loyal companions. it's the little moments i could escape from this stagnant life; a moving space where i could switch from a vampire-in-love to Tokyo in the witching hours to a karaoke evangelist, all while listening to my own personal jukebox.
