a friend told me once that he always thought that the best moments are when one is 80% happy.
i thought about it for a long time.

happiness is elusive. most of the time we sit in the midst of happiness and sadness, in the gap, where feelings are scarce and unmemorable. and then something comes along. so we live.

i sip my coffee every morning. it gives me a certain happiness. and then i got onto a packed mrt train, that nullifies the coffee effect. i went into office lobby, waiting for the lift. i saw the cute colleague, and my heart gives a little leap. work starts, and feelings are put to rest and mind is set to work.

in the long term, these little feelings in the morning hardly matters. it is unmemorable.

in contrast,
the first snow in life is unforgettable. i remember mine. if anything, i was probably at the moment of 80% happiness.

sitting outside a cafe in a small beach in italy, listening to street musician playing a tune so familiar, a song heard over the radio many years ago, is another happiness realized. at that moment, nothing else in the world matters.

these moments make my world goes round. but those unmemorable moments are the ones that make the world goes round.
my world is small, but the world is one big, big place.
and to be alive, has always been, will always be a grand thing in its own right.