for the past one months or so, i have slipped into oblivious, solitary indulgence. shying away from gatherings, preferring to stay at home even though it's the sale season. i have no interest in investing my energy on social interaction, other than a handful of friends whose company and conversations i truly seek. it's a conscious act of isolation, a cry for a change.
all the books that i borrowed from the library these days are cookbooks. due to my stay-at-home mode, i have a lot of time and have spent them on trying recipes. the myriad scents of herbs are my calming aromatherapy, the sizzling sound from stir-fry vegetables in a wok is music to my ear, a plate of hot home-cooked dish is a feast to the eye, pride and stomach.
june 2010 will be forever etched in my memory as the first time i quit a job. 23 months into my first job and i left. i've never thought that i would stay in my first job for long - i know i've had one foot out of the door for some time, and all i can say is that i'm glad that it's all said and done now. everything has been pleasant, even the resignation.
may 2010 is the month when an old promise is fulfilled. finally. after 10 years. all i can do is laugh, be grateful, and probably, finally, letting go.
after all the humbug and noises have faded away, i sit down with a cup of freshly brewed coffee and a plate of pasta, close my eyes and think of paradise i once saw.
ah... quite a bliss.
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
Friday, 11 June 2010
As I Grew Older by Langston Hughes
It was a long time ago.
I have almost forgotten my dream.
But it was there then,
In front of me,
Bright like a sun--
My dream.
And then the wall rose,
Rose slowly,
Slowly,
Between me and my dream.
Rose until it touched the sky--
The wall.
Shadow.
I am black.
I lie down in the shadow.
No longer the light of my dream before me,
Above me.
Only the thick wall.
Only the shadow.
My hands!
My dark hands!
Break through the wall!
Find my dream!
Help me to shatter this darkness,
To smash this night,
To break this shadow
Into a thousand lights of sun,
Into a thousand whirling dreams
Of sun!
It was a long time ago.
I have almost forgotten my dream.
But it was there then,
In front of me,
Bright like a sun--
My dream.
And then the wall rose,
Rose slowly,
Slowly,
Between me and my dream.
Rose until it touched the sky--
The wall.
Shadow.
I am black.
I lie down in the shadow.
No longer the light of my dream before me,
Above me.
Only the thick wall.
Only the shadow.
My hands!
My dark hands!
Break through the wall!
Find my dream!
Help me to shatter this darkness,
To smash this night,
To break this shadow
Into a thousand lights of sun,
Into a thousand whirling dreams
Of sun!
