Sometimes I wonder, if I could see the shape of my heart, what would it look like? The physical heart that works every second of my life and the "heart" that feels and loves.

If live is measured by heart beat... this is how old I am
my heartbeat is about 80 beats/min
1 day has 1440 mins
1 year has 525600 mins
26 years have 13,665,600 mins, which is equal to approximately 1 billion heartbeats.

I don't know if it feels tired, because it never complains. It works tirelessly, sustaining life, giving this body another day, another shot at life.
However, I could feel it being suffocated at times. The heart wants to break free from a metaphorical cage. I've been trying every single day for the past 5 years to set it free from whatever that is binding it.

I'm not quite there yet. But it will, someday, soon.


Your heart is like a great river after a long spell of rain, spilling over its banks. All signposts that once stood on the ground are gone, inundated and carried away by that rush of water. And still the rain beats down on the surface of the river. Everytime you see a flood like that on the news you tell yourself: That's it. That's my heart.

i don't remember when was the last time i heard your voice. it must have been too long.
i don't know what brings you to call, but thank you. i need it.

i would like to think that when i feel so alone, there's someone in this world who is thinking of me. that no one is destined to be alone. that there will be someone to watch over me.
thanks to you, i think it might not just be a wishful thinking.

i'm so glad we're friends all this time. it's one of things i want to see through til i grow old and til my memory fails me.


a horse carousel
merry-go-round
mirrors mirrors on the wall
carnival tunes
people people all around

one day i'll come off mine
and i'll walk to you
to say 'hi'
for the rest of our lives.