What's Up

In view of the recent developments or the lack thereof, I think it's time to really think and most importantly ACT on my plan to mold my life into shape. To put it bluntly, I'm really just biding my time doing what I am doing now. It's bad enough to feel dissatisfied with life, it's worse to fall into the serene slumber of deception when really what is happening now is being fitted into the cradle of mediocrity.

I understand why sometimes I cried when I laid in bed at night. Words could not bring out the things in my head and tears seem to be the only media to express.

I have a crapload to do and I don't even know where to start.

Close encounters with old friends are a way to start. Hanging out with old friends is like looking through the rose-tinted glass of our past and superimposing our past dreams with the present, getting a dream/reality check. My trip to Down Under last week is redemptive and the times I spent with them are more than I could have asked for.

I feel energized, and life's good.
I have never been happier to be alive.

It's time to get hold of some good crayons and color this canvas of life.

25 years and my life is still
Trying to get up that big hill of hope
For a destination

currently my favourite time of the week

is wednesday, 10pm. american idol, awesome adam lambert.
every performances that he did is now on regular repeat in my Ipod. even the most bizarre performance that is his cover of "Ring of Fire". his vocal superiority, compelling stage presence, and his attractive androgyny easily makes him the most interesting contestant to grace american idol ever.

i think the first time i noticed him was in his profile page in american idol website. there was a list of questions which the top 13 contestants have to answer. one of the question is "what's your proudest moment?"
his answer is "falling in love."

that threw me off the loop.

there's a youtube video of him singing "i can't make you love me" in a restaurant on new year's eve, accompanied only by the piano.
it's so, so beautiful that it made me tear up.
there's probably more emotions in his 5-minute performance than in my life for the past one year or so.
i want to love someone that much. one day, hopefully.

i can't wait for his next performance. be it a high-octane thrilling performance, or a stripped-down, heartfelt performance, i know he'll bring the best to the table.