I'd sometimes wonder what kind of life this was. Which is not to say that I found it empty. I was - very simply - amazed. At the lack of demarcation between the days. At the fact that I was part of such a life, a life that had swallowed me up so completely. At the fact that my footprints were being blown away before I even had a chance to turn and look at them.

Sleep, The Elephant Vanishes by Haruki Murakami


One afternoon after lunch at work, I suddenly thought about a poem I heard long time ago in the language lab in my junior high school. Karawang-Bekasi, karya Chairil Anwar. I remembered the voice in the recording, I recalled the background music that reverberated in the silence of the chilling poem.
It seems so long ago, but I hardly can recall other memories with such clarity.

One day as I was waiting for the lift to bring me down and out of the office, my colleague came along and asked, " How are you?" It was 18:45 and it was not the first time we chatted that day.

Knock knock
Day in
Walk walk
Work work
Wait wait
Day out

Bye bye.

*Repeat*

So long 2008, Welcome 2009

2008 New Year Resolution:
1. To be a better person - on the way there...
2. Get a job (to be specified soon) - Luckily I did.
3. Live healthier (exercise more, less junk food) - second half of the year is definitely healthier... eating more greens, cutting back on snacks, weekend coffee detox, kickboxing. But then... my alcohol intake has been hitting an all-time high. And not to mention the occasional ciggies.
4. Travel again (maybe to Beijing for Olympics 2008 :p ) - a short trip to Thailand with my bestie. A very memorable travel, and definitely one of the best I ever had. Not to forget the short trip to Malacca with colleagues.
5. Read more books and keep up with the news - I aced this one. Has been reading books and following the news everyday since graduation (July 2008).
6. Learn how to cook! - I tried, didn't do very well, but I guess I am able to feed myself when I want to.

I will remember how old friendships were rekindled in 2008... these people from the past who suddenly drop by in this city, and we met, and we talked, and it felt right... so right.

I will remember the day when Barack Obama was elected as the 44th president of USA. I have never felt so happy since Italy won the World Cup in 2006. His acceptance speech brought tears to my eyes; for once, I wish I were an American.

Moving on to 2009...
New Year Resolution:
1. I will learn again - be it language, be it CFA, anything really.
2. I will eat healthy and step up on the exercise regime.
3. I will keep in touch with friends and people I know. I will love more and resent less. I will spend quality time with people that I love. I will call home more often.
4. I will travel again with someone, somewhere.
5. I will find my dream job and build a career that lasts.
6. I will be more adventurous and not be afraid to try things.

And most of all, I want to be happy, as always :)

Cheers to a New Year and a new beginning!

Once again, it is that time of the year.

This year, I am in Singapore. It is a rainy day, not the heavy rain coupled with lightning and thunder, but a quiet, lingering rain that reminds me of a lawn sprinkler steadfastly watering the green pasture.
I am thankful because this year is the best one yet, in every delightful way.

Counting my blessings, and be grateful
of the special people that love and care
of the others that have enriched this life, by just being there
of the memories that make life tastes so special and unforgettable
of the experiences, big or small, that make me the person I am today.

Perhaps God's line is always busy,
but surely, a birthday girl gets a special treatment yes?

please watch over me;
when I run too fast to get through the day,
please extend your leg to trip me;
when it's ugly down here on earth,
please send me blue skies and starry nights;
when I lose my way,
please send me an angel to guide me home.

I was stunned when I found this photograph in facebook. How nice it is to look at a long lost photograph taken 18 years ago. My memory has failed me, I cannot remember a single thing about my life back then. I cannot recognize my old friends from that era when we added each other in facebook. Nevertheless, the photograph never grows old. I see it as I remember it to be. A photograph can be kind, sparking a glimmer of light in a chapter of life that has been lost in time.

It was mid afternoon 1990. The sun was glaring, the kids couldn't keep their eyes open wide for the camera. It was their first year wearing that white-red uniform. Their teacher was a sweet, young lady (who is at that time, probably around my age now), Ibu Ratna. Their class was on the first floor of the school building, just beside the canteen. In fact, their class is the background in the photograph.

I wonder, where are they now? What kind of person have they become?
Long after our time has gone, I say a little prayer, for each and every single soul in the photograph, that they become the kind of people that those little kids wanted to be.

Borders beats Boredom

For the past few weeks, I've been having this habit of going to Orchard Road on friday evenings. I would have a nice dinner in Minang House, shop, and walk along the boulevards. The Christmas decoration was up, the lighted streets at night exuded a Christmas-like feel, the jazz quartet played in front of Tang's while the chanteuse sang lovely jazzy tunes. Sometimes I would sit on the bench, listening to the music, watching people's faces as they walked by. After having enough of shopping and strolling, I would finally park myself in Borders, the raison d'être why I went to Orchard Road in the first place.

November is a special month, Border's birthday month. I got emails from Borders mailers every week in this month, with 30% discount voucher. I need something to read everyday when I am commuting to work. I need something to read in weekends. I need something to read to learn new things. I need something to read to take me away from this impressively mundane life. Books are my best friend.

I like searching for books, combing shelfs by shelfs, waiting for the books to "call" me. Some books only get a cursory glance, some a lingering look, some a second glance, and the selected few get picked for the next selection phase. I would pick a few books that interested me, take them to an empty corner and start judging them by more than its cover. I imagined the weather was foul outside, rain or snow, and there I was sitting peacefully inside a bookshop, flipping pages of ideas and imaginations. A cat curling up by the side would be nice.

I would make my final selection, bring it to the counter, pay for it (at 30%-discounted price!), and not asking for a plastic bag, because being a green person, I would rather put the book in my bag, feel the weight of it on my hand/shoulder, and having this mighty sense of satisfaction.

Being in Borders is an experience by itself; finding myself at the border of my reality and staring into this vastness of space, with new people, new places, and new stories to be told. No air ticket needed, just a piece of printed Borders voucher and finally I'm home, with a keepsake in my otherwise boring black bag.