Chance Meeting

Chance meeting is a funny thing. It is totally out of your control. It is something the universe bestows on you at its own whim. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's forgettable, sometimes it is something you are thankful for and cherish for the rest of your life.


I had a chance meeting with an old friend at the National Day celebration in the embassy about 1.5 months ago. We were in Singapore all this time but never met up, and somehow our paths crossed in that one hour.


I met a fellow Singaporean at work. He's been with the bank for the past 16 years and just less than one month since I met him, he announced that he's leaving the bank and moving to Cleveland. Over many bowls of noodles and cups of coffee, I got to know this person better. He "recruited" me to help organize the first moon cake festival celebration for SG club here. It was also a mini farewell for him. If I had joined the bank one month later, I might never have the chance to know this person. If I had joined the bank ten years before, I might have the chance to work with him more and maybe know him better. All the what ifs will never end.
Above all these musings, I'm grateful to the universe for bringing us together. His words encouraged me a lot. I hope I will try harder at life when I'm back in Singapore: to take initiatives, take chances, and most of all to be more optimistic about life.

Where am I?

I'm back in the U.S. after 4 years. This time in a bigger city and as a working adult. It's summer time and days are long. Sometimes it feels like having too much time, too little things to do. I know I have to work, I could explore the city, travel, etc. However, exploring the city and traveling on my own don't sound as appealing as it used to be anymore. Maybe some places are beautiful, interesting, have good weather... but these places are foreign, it's not mine and will never be mine. With no one to share it with, it will fast become a forgotten memory or place in my life.

Pokemon Go has been going viral for about 2 weeks now. I caught a lot of Pokemons in the zoo yesterday. Until one point I realized that my battery is low and I haven't paid attention to any of the real animals in the zoo. It's time to get back to real life. Games have really evolved -- this game is so different from the one I was used to. Maybe I haven't been playing any games for too long now. 

Last Friday, 10 June 2016, I had my last working day in CBC. It's my shortest stint in any company, even shorter than when I worked as a waitress at Ottonam Cafe many, many years back. The colleagues bought me a nice lunch at L'entrecote. This place is famous for their steak and infamous for their service. True to its reputation, we got just what we expected, great food and bad service. Then the bill came. The first thing we noticed was that we have been charged an extra side of truffle fries. So after some time of unpleasant exchanges, they removed the extra charge. And then we paid. And then.. here comes the catch. As we left the place, I took a final glance at the bill and realized that they have charged us with 5 main dishes. And we are a party of 9. So basically, they forgot to charge 4 main dishes and the bill came up to be around $130 for 9 people. And we didn't realize this while studying the bill for the first time as we were distracted by the truffle fries we didn't order. Heh.

The farewell was devoid of any emotion. Not surprising at all considering my short time there (about 4-5 months).

I am looking forward to my next job -- I  want to get it right this time.

Hometown

For the first 6 years of my life, I lived in a small town in Aceh province in Indonesia. My parents ran a provision shop and we lived in a shophouse across the street from the shop. My mom would leave me in an elderly neighbor's house during the day and pick me up in the evening. On some evenings, my dad would take me on a ride on his Vespa to the seaside. My sister went to school in Medan so I seldom saw her. During her school holiday, she would come back and we would spend some time together. These 6 years are so hazy in my mind that I am glad my parents still keep some photographs from these times long gone.

Last month, we went back to the hometown for the first time after 27 years. I was moved at how excited my dad was to be back. Meeting relatives, old friends and acquaintances, exchanging stories, recalling the old times. He felt like a whole different person to me in that time. He prayed at his grandmother's grave in the hometown. The tomb stood by the river, with its back against a mountain; this is supposed to be an auspicious resting place. It's not easy to locate the tomb, my cousin walked in front with a long knife to cut off some vegetation blocking the way, we had to cross a stream before reaching the tomb. It was a meaningful time.

Aceh was hit by huge earthquake and tsunami in 2004. Every city has a reminder of the disaster, every person has a story to tell about that time. Mass graves, big ship stranded in the middle of the city, museum, mosques. Everyone smoked here, I wonder if it's tabacco or cannabis (which Aceh is notorious for). It was really sad. I want to do something for this place.

Christmas

A Christmas card that arrived early - on Thanksgiving day. I love it to pieces: the mistletoe on an egg tart, the message inside, the person who sent it. 

*Through the years 

we will all be together 

If the Fate allows

Hang a shining star upon the highest bough

And Have yourself a merry little Christmas now.*

After a whole day being in a pressure cooker or otherwise described as urban middle-class working life, it's so so so nice to come back and spend what is left of the day, in the warmth of your voice and tenderness.

Can we one day leave and find some place where we belong to?

There is nothing sexier than a man who is impassioned and totally engrossed in what he is doing.

Nothing really, well, except for those arms.

I should stop this rambling and look for brain soap.

This time last year

It feels really good that special memories hang there at the back of your mind like it just happened yesterday.

St. Pat's day spent in Chicago with Z, 2012. How lovely is this memory. It shines like a bright spark in my unreliable memory. It was beautiful because it was spent with someone who thinks that I am special, because it was filled with good food, coffee and cheers, because it involved a beautiful city whose charm I just discovered.

One day I hope to go back there, and maybe you'll still be in the city and I will ask you to come with me, to relieve that moment again; once upon a time on a lovely day in the spring break.

From iPhone

I'm writing this post as I enter almost-peak-hour train. One of the perks of working in the company's where I worked now is that I can end the work day relatively early. It's a lovely feeling to see the sun when you exited the office for the day.
She's in town this week, she my old, quirky friend. She made a decision last year to go back to Indo for good. What a brave girl. I will never be able to do that and I sincerely wish her well.
December last year another friend left too. We are at the point of our lives where we made decisions that make our paths diverge, often a point where they will not converge again.
There a sense of loss, but really it's all about trudging bravely in our own chosen path and say a little prayer that life will be so kind that it will bring us together again, even if for a fleeting moment.

Today I went to Santouka ramen shop for dinner with some friends. It is a busy, noisy place with some Norah Jones songs playing in the background. Not the kind of music you usually find in places like this, right?

And suddenly, our of nowhere I heard an old, timeless jazz tune that I used to love. "A remark you made" by Weather Report. For most songs, I am drawn to the lyrics first, then the music. I guess for masterpieces like this, words are redundant.

And once this song ended, Ms. Jones was back with her sultry voice. The ramen was good. The company was even better. But that song, making a surprise appearance like that, really needs a special mention.

I have been really contented and happy in my new job. It is an absolutely new feeling to me. My job is challenging enough I am effectively engaged to it, I have a great mentor as my direct boss who actually appreciates and thinks highly of my potential. Too good to be true. There must be a catch lurking at the corner, waiting to pounce when I expect it the least. Right? Despite this premonition, I will myself to believe that life actually doesn't have to be mediocre, that I can be sustainably happy.

Today, our big boss announced that my boss will be moving to Sydney office, in one month's time. I'm not ready for this news apparently. I know it will happen sooner or later, since most of the Japanese managers move to a new office after 2 years or so. But I didn't expect it to be so soon. I am really sad when I heard this news. I could feel a huge lump in my throat, burning sensation in my eyes, and blocked nose. Luckily I managed not to cry. It will be unthinkable to show much emotions in a meeting, let alone tears. I almost lost it when he said in the meeting that I was be one of the heaviest consideration for me to move, because I was new to the firm.

Do I believe that he sincerely cares for me? Yes.
Am I happy that he is moving? Yes, because I believe it is a great move forward in his career and his family. No, because I am obviously worried about how I am going to cope after he leaves.
And I wish I could know him better and learn more from him.

So, what now I ask myself? The catch that I have been waiting to happen, has arrived. For the next one month, I want to go to work early and come back late. Every single day. I'm going to take whatever there is left for me to take. And hoping that when the time comes, my emotions would have subsided and no one will even notice the tracks of my tears.

July is coming to an end. And I am still jobless. Apparently job market is lackluster these days, with companies either delaying their hiring or freezing their hiring completely. Le sigh.

Being jobless for the past 2++ months really makes me appreciate people who are self-employed. Their brains have to work 2,3 or even more times than people who are employed by others, especially those in the office job. And they need to set their own targets and have the discipline to achieve within the time frame they set for themselves. They must really understand themselves, don't they? My naturally curious mind has led me to improving my knowledge on things that sometimes have zero significance to my career or area of expertise. I am, after all just an information junkie with a haphazard mind that is really hard to focus.

I've been having flu and losing my voice for a few days now. Just when I am not in the top of my health, along come two interviews in the next two days. Life really has a sense of humor, huh? 

A rather exciting weekend with some gatherings that I look forward to is coming. I wonder if anyone still read this blog at all. Regardless of that, I will still keep it updated as and when. So, whoever you are, dear reader(s), stay tuned!

Feeling Good

Many times I underestimated the power of good companies to lift up downtrodden spirits. Also, I always forget the power of attraction in transporting one's mind into a world of its own. A world you hope you would never have to leave. You are sitting on the fence: he likes me, he likes me not. Reality is when you are forced to move to one side of the fence. If it's the he-likes-me side, you will most probably be happier. Although nobody know when this form of happiness will last. If it's the other side of the fence, you will fall with a thump. It will hurt at first, but it will go away.

Deep eyes, broad shoulders, tall, knowledgeable, funny and kind. I'm probably strongly biased here but he can do no wrong in my mind. I don't want to forget this feeling - it is a much needed happiness pill for my not-so-awesome life current (no job, no money, no bf, you get it right?). I've seen him 3 times the past one month. How I wish I could sink into his shoulders and not have to think about everything that has been bothering me lately.

 I want to savor this moment. Holding on to the good thoughts, be grateful that there are people, friends in my life that make life really worth living.

On Memory

Yesterday, in an attempt to make my new pad more conducive for living, I went to IKEA with C to get some small stuffs and furniture. I've always loved the feeling of walking around IKEA's 2-storey store/warehouse - the bedrooms looked cozy, the kitchen/dining room so inviting, the study rooms like secret, hiding places. After getting most of the things that I needed and it's almost dinner time, we headed to the cafe - we thought that we were on 2nd floor all along (which was where the cafe was located too) but it turned out that we were on the 1st floor all the while and haven't gone around the 2nd floor at all. The strange thing is that we could remember taking the lift or the stair down to the 1st floor (the entrance to IKEA is located on the 2nd floor). We had a long conversation over Swedish meatballs (the meatballs looked very different from how it used to - flatter, smaller apparently IKEA now used different kind of beef/pork that made the meatballs more authentically Swedish; they still tasted good anyway), chicken wings and 2 desserts (elderflower cupcake and Daim cake). I told her about life in US, she told me about her new job / going-to-be-in-Sept new house. We talked about how we preferred school to working, how these days we worked just for the money. C told me also that she liked it in Singapore because life is better in here than in Jakarta - I couldn't agree more. And she suggested that while I was still looking for job, I could think about some business plan as a way out of being an employee. And we discussed about growing old and memory loss. I've had these feelings for some time now, that I don't remember things like I used to anymore: I need people to trigger some memories (by providing bits and pieces of it) before I could reconstruct them in my mind, for example SK telling me she stayed over with me in H's house after watching the very unmemorable, boring Green Lantern last year - by my old standard, I should have remembered this on my own without she telling me first (even H remembered). I'm going to turn 30 next year and memories already starting to slip away. She suggested we should start taking Gingko Biloba supplement to slow down/prevent the onset of dementia. And we talked about how our parents were getting older and how scary it was as we couldn't do anything about years passing by. On another note, my Mom called me everyday these days because she got certain amount free call times per month. And we still don't have much things to talk about. What can I do?

It's been slightly past one month since I came back to Asia. I still have not gotten a job, but tomorrow I will be moving to my new pad in Singapore. Contrary to my previous places, this one is near to the city and doesn't have many people living in it. I hope it's going to be good. Sometimes I think about life back in US. It was so near yet so far. Only one month, but the memories are slipping away, fast. I really should make it a point to put my life down on papers, so that one day if I could not recall those beautiful days I had, I could flip the pages of this diary and find some comfort in the penned-down memories. I went to see W, my uni friend today in Yan Ting. It's a great dim sum place in a beautiful hotel. And he brought his friends (including his friend who was visiting from LA), SK, Ian and SY. It was a great time. We headed to Chinatown to visit famous Indian temple and a famous Buddhist temple. And we ate Guilinggao and Bak Kut Teh. Yesterday I ate black-pepper crabs and durians with H, V and SK. I feel grateful to have these friends in SG.

Leap Year

February 29th
Comes every 4 years
Nesting on the very last
Of a very short month
On the edge of winter

2012
Unseasonably warm day
Like an early summertime
People in tees and shorts
Drinking in the glorious sunshine

Feb 29th, 2012
Belongs to another time of the year
A very special extra
Day of the year.

Some Warmth in Winter

Yesterday I was talking to a friend and I mentioned about how I haven't seen this guy in school for the past one month. He used to take a few classes with us, but this semester (which have already entered into its second month) he's not in school at all. We suspected maybe he has graduated last semester, although I doubt so. I couldn't explain why, but there is a sense of loss and longing with him not around. It's strange how I could develop a sense of closeness with a stranger (considering that I've never had a one-on-one conversation with him). He has an unforgettable look and his presence has been an inseparable part of this school.

Today, I was checking out my school website (at work!) and I saw a new article with his photo in it. My curiousity finds its answer: Apparently, he is on an exchange program in Hanover, Germany and will be back in March. Reading his article about Germany brings back my own travel memories in that country five years ago. It is as if I could taste the bratwurst, sip the beer, and marvel at the old towns and rivers.

Have fun, stranger - Europe has so much to offer. And see you again.

**



On another note, this is a photo of the landscape as I walked to work this morning at 8.50am.

Winter is so mysterious and intriguing.

Somewhere Beyond the Sea

I went to Los Angeles in the last module break. It's good to see an old friend in a new place.

I love the Pacific Ocean; it's so blue and seems endless. I feel at peace everytime I see the ocean or the blue sky. Wish I could have this view every day. If I ever live in LA, I will go by the ocea every morning. Just to remind myself that it's another good day to be alive.

9,372 miles.

That's how far I will be going away from Singapore for at least one year, in less than one month from now. I'm looking forward to it and I am really grateful for the opportunity to be able to be away, to do something that will give me a second chance in building a proper career path.

Leaving Singapore is what I have wanted to do for the past 2 years, but it's not as easy at it seems. Leaving a place that has been my comfort zone for the past 11.5 years is not the most natural thing to do. Saying goodbyes, not knowing when I will be back (although I am almost sure that I will be), packing up years worth of belongings are inconvenient. It's like leaving a bookmark on an unfinished chapter and starting a new chapter. Or has the chapter ended without me knowing?

Either way, a new chapter in life is going to start soon.
Wish me luck :)

And stay tuned!

so long 2010, welcome 2011

These are the events that marked my 2010:
1. Traveling to Japan in autumn with WL
A major trip in a long, long time - rediscovering the joy of travel!

2. Second major employment
I wonder how long this will last.

3. Driver's license, at last!
I was elated to pass the driving test the week before Christmas!

It has only been 2 days into the new year and it has been kind of a roller coaster ride. If nothing else goes wrong, I would have lived in 3 different houses by March 2011.

I spent the new year's eve in lydia's house - enjoying a spread of home-cooked dishes prepared by tessie, lydia and myself! (not to mention, with great help from auntie jo). it was like a dejavu of the millenia's eve celebration 11 years ago.

Although I slept through the new year countdown and the start of the year has been sort of bumpy, I believe that this will be an eventful year. A year I will always remember in my life, a landmark, hopefully a beginning of something new and beautiful.

Bring it on, 2011!